I have to first say thank you to each and every person who commented on my post yesterday. It is so wonderful to know that people respond to what I write. I wrote for years at Build Peace on Blogspot/Blogger, but it wasn’t a place for comments. The comments were just as likely to contain lexical assaults as a “this made me think” type comment. I found out there are whole forums whose intent is to harass and intimidate liberal bloggers. It wasn’t pretty, but I kept at it because “I will not be silent” is so much more than a slogan for me. I had faced rougher crowds than these before when I took on the demons who assaulted my soul so regularly from the time I was a teenager until I grew to understand what unconditional love really was as I watched my child discover the wonder of life. So I really and truly appreciate the feedback, and it will take me a while to respond to them all. So I’m writing this in a mean while back at the blog type post.
But now that I am focused on more personal writing, well, a whole new world (do NOT key that sappy song) is opening up, and it is opening up in a way I really, really like.
Now I know really, really big Shew Bizz writers who can amass hundreds of comments on a single blog post. Does that make me feel inadequate? In all honesty? Well, sometimes… just a little bitty, bit. But not too much, because I am happy that their success allows me to have a model to study and from which to learn. I do sometimes wonder why I am always on a bit of a different path than seemingly everyone else, but then I remember, “I have things to teach too.”
I’m working on a book about the journey I’ve lived in which I managed to learn to reframe my identity into a that of a positive, mature, and healthy woman. I’m leaving off the bit about also being a big mouth, bawdy, obstreperous hussy. These are some of the factors that allow me to write so personally. I guess I succeed at conveying the pain beyond which I’ve managed to travel. I’m always concerned that people are concerned about me. Really, I am fine. I want you kind folks and new readers to know that. I also want you to know that your supportive words mean the world to me. Your comments give me reason to keep working on the book. I think it will be a good read, and for some a helpful read, and I hope it will add to the understanding of what it means to be an unwanted child. I’ve been given the experiences and the voice. What else could I do but write about it?
Everyone has stories. Not everyone wants or needs to share them. If you do want to share them, great. If not, that is even more great. More great? Hmm…. that doesn’t sound right. What is an even greater achievement than sharing your personal stories and struggles is knowing that you are not yet ready to broadcast your inner voice. Truly. I am ready to share. I have always been an over-sharer; I would say nothing for the longest time, but when I did open up, boy it all came out. I’ve now, finally, had enough experience to be able to turn the faucet off after it has been opened. Now that I can regulate my sharing, I feel that I am ready to share.
So please, keep leaving comments. I love that communities of women support each other. Support is a good thing to give. But please, do not feel that I am on the edge and will melt into a writhing mass of Jello if not supported immediately. Comment because you want to let me know that I wrote something with a voice, message, or managed to evoke a smile, laugh, or harumph. I’m not saying I am never sad or in pain. I visit those little bits of desert at the edges of my soul now and again. All humans have woes and injuries. But thank you all so much for caring. Your caring comments reaffirm to me that I am on the right path. I managed to reframe my initial reaction of “Oh my God, they are commenting, I must have said too much!” to “That is wonderful. I am thankful I can write in a way that touches people. Keep those comments coming!”